Be Still and Know

Extracted from ODB again:

As I sat in the dentist’s chair, I braced myself for the drilling that would begin my root canal. I was ready for the worst, and my body language and facial expression exposed my sense of dread. The dentist looked at me and smiled, saying, “It’s okay, Bill. Try to relax.”

That isn’t easy to do. It is actually very difficult to try (requiring effort and exertion) to relax (requiring an absence of effort and exertion). Try and relax just don’t seem to fit together—not only in the dentist’s chair, but in the spiritual realm as well.

Far too often I don’t limit my efforts of resistance to visits at the dentist’s office. In my relationship with Christ, I find myself not pressing for God’s purposes but for my own interests. In those moments, the hardest thing for me to do is “try to relax” and genuinely trust God for the outcome of life’s trials.

In Psalm 46:10, we read, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!” In the moments when my heart is anxious, this verse reminds me to “be still, and know.” Now, if I can only put that into practice and rest confidently in His care, I’ll be at peace.  — Bill Crowder

Yea that is indeed true, it is indeed hard to “try to relax” and genuinely trust God for the outcome of life’s trials. Often, we approach God with something we want in mind. What i’ve learnt during a recent “Lectio Divina” course on how to meditate on scriptures, is that too often we approach scripture unconsciously searching for what we want to see and for the answers that we seek, not allowing His word to fully speak to us. When we don’t find what we seek, we become disappointed and disheartened. Ok why am I using “we”? More like “I” haha.

I believe I was still enough in the dentist’s chair during my recent wisdom-draining procedure, and now i’m none the wiser heh. Spiritual realm is another thing altogether though… probably thrashing around violently and not cooperating much. I try though, I try… only by His grace.

On a separate note, today I experienced excruciating heart pain. As in literally. Happens sometimes but today was quite prolonged. Tried to grin and pretend nothing was wrong, but it was p.a.i.n.f.u.l.  I wonder if a heart attack feels like that. It was ok if i rested in a certain position, but if i moved too much it would be pain. Thankfully it went away after awhile. Whats wrong with me sia… all health checks so far show nothing remotely wrong with my body. Maybe i’ll just drop dead one day haha. Oh well, I dont dread death anywyays, for all my questions can be finally answered heh =)

Fiction reveals truths that reality obscures

“Nowhere can man find a quieter or more untroubled retreat than in his own soul. “

~Marcus Aurelius

I say fiction. But yet it reveals some truths.

No Greater Love

Warning: contains scenes of blood and gore. Don’t watch if you can’t take such stuff.

I look beyond the empty cross
Forgetting what my life has cost
And wipe away the crimson stains
And dull the nails that still remain
More and more I need you now,
I owe you more each passing hour
The battle between grace and pride
I gave up not so long ago
So steal my heart and take the pain
And wash the feet and cleanse my pride
Take the selfish, take the weak,
And all the things I cannot hide
Take the beauty, take my tears
The sin-soaked heart and make it yours
Take my world all apart
Take it now, take it now
And serve the ones that I despise
Speak the words I can’t deny
Watch the world I used to love
Fall to dust and thrown away
I look beyond the empty cross
Forgetting what my life has cost
So wipe away the crimson stains
And dull the nails that still remain

Take my world apart… once again take it all apart..